Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride.
By: Timothy Snarr
Last week, as the Paschal Full Moon glimmered overhead and Palm Sunday turned into Good Friday, an age-old story came roaring back to life. Passed down from generation to generation, it is the epic tale of sacrifice, blood, broken bodies, crucifixion, and miraculous resurrection. For devout followers, its message is just as compelling today as it was in 1972, the year the development of urethane wheels brought skateboarding back from the dead. Yeah, skateboarding. Jesus, what did you think I was talking about?

Once dismissed as a mere fad back in the mid-60s, skateboarding easily outlasted shelves full of dusty fly-by-night gimmickry to grow in leaps, bounds, and backside airs, but not before parental smear campaigns, danger mongering, litigation proceedings, and overt commercialism nearly derailed the sport. From tricks to trucks, the evolution of sidewalk surfing is a survival of the fittest story worthy of a Darwinian blessing, but somewhere along the way, the fit hit the shan. To most hardcore shredders, cracked enamel, bone shards, and gravel stuck to an open wound is much less painful than sitting through an endless string of ESPN X-Games promotional spots, despite what mainstreaming claims to have done for the sport's popularity.

The thing about being in any kind of stream, whether main or otherwise, is that stuff gets watered down. A utilitarian appeal is great for making money, but at what price? In sci-fi films it's always the core of the reactor that blows up the entire mechanism. Likewise, alienating the core constituency of any movement has a way of blowing up an entire subculture. What gets lost in the resulting fireball is the history. One upstart skateboard company has set out to reclaim that history.

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"I grew up as a skater in the ‘80s as a punk," muses Spencer W., the 33-year-old owner of Swollen Skateboards, "and I'm bringing it back to hardcore." The nascent, privately funded company, born nearly a year and a half ago, is on a hell bent mission to resurrect the hardcore skateboarding ideal that, over the past decade and a half, was effectively swallowed up by cable network television along with a mouthful of the latest hyper-caffeinated energy drink that sponsors it. The sell out was a kick in the already chipped teeth of anyone who doesn't only understand the rich history of the sport, but lived it.

"I've had people say, ‘We love what you're about. [Just] be a little bit safer.' That drives me crazy," fumes Spencer. "When I was 13, boards had death, gore, women, and sex [on them]. Mom hated to buy it, but she bought it anyway." The recollection caused him to rethink the essence of skateboarding before launching his Swollen brand. It is a bit ironic that, for a sport priding itself on being "edgy" and "extreme" the general consensus among most retailers and distributors is to play it safe with the associated graphics and imagery. Hardcore boarders, including Spencer, saw the trend as a part of the dumbing down process that tends to snuff out any thriving subculture. The feeling was that the sport had gone soft.

"To me hardcore means basically anything you do, doing it all the way," says Spencer. "Do it to your fullest extent." It was that spirit that bred new innovations at the sport's genesis. Steel wheels morphed into clay and then into urethane. Basic tricks yielded to more complex maneuvers like the kick turn and the ollie. Concrete skate parks were replaced with homemade wooden ramps. That same spirit also fueled boarders like Tony Alva, Jay Adams and Stacy Peralta, some of the first iconic figures of the sport.

While Swollen's clothes, its logo, and its army of ink covered, metal adorned pin-up girls, who comprise the pierced up face of the company, have recaptured some of that hardcore spirit, it is Swollen's latest creation that brings the term hardcore to an all new level.

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"Buy the ticket. Take the ride," says the slogan that accompanies the image of Rob Rotten on the base of the new Swollen deck. The words are an homage to another hardcore soul, Hunter S. Thompson, whom Rob emulates to a "T" on the new board. A beautiful, scantily clad babe worships at his feet. "It's a great shot," says Spencer. "That picture and graphic is fun. It totally portrays Rob. It's going to catch your eye because Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, you know, I love that movie and I think a lot of people recognize it."

Did I happen to mention that Rob Rotten is a multi-award winning porn writer, performer, filmmaker and producer? "Porn stars in the world are icons to kids now. It's just the way it is," says Spencer in a matter of fact tone. "I wanted to try to start out with an adult star that represented my company," he gushes. "Rob is the punk rock king of porn to me - the way he looks, his persona, the way he portrays himself. I love it."

The image is certainly a sharp detour from the demonic imagery and otherworldly graphics that have until now made their way onto Swollen skateboard decks. It is an even bigger departure from the rainbows and elemental graphics that other companies frequently employ. "Decks these days...it looks like they take a tank and throw it on a board and put an ad in Thrasher and say ‘Hey, kid. Go buy this. It's cool,'" mutters Spencer. "To me that wasn't what skating was about."

There is little question as to whether or not Rob Rotten is the embodiment of the hardcore vibe for which Spencer strives. One of the true cowboys in the porn industry and the creator of such films as The Texas Vibrator Massacre, Porn of the Dead and Little Runaway, Rotten was the first to fuse punk and porn into a viable commodity. With the legendary Jim Powers in tow, Rotten turned a stagnant industry on its ear with his systematic use of debased rules and utter chaos. He eschewed silicone for ink and metal. He hired real punk bands to perform in his films. Once, he even used a six-pack of beer to bribe a homeless, drunk guy named Angus McGillicuddy into reading the opening monologue to one of his movies. Rotten is hardcore to the bone. The question, however, was whether or not Rob Rotten's brand of hardcore is the embodiment of skating.

"To integrate the adult world into the skate world...I mean, to me they're both similar," Spencer postulates. "Growing up it was real important to me. That's all we did was watch skate videos and watch porn." He may just be right in his assessment of the similarities. The fact is that porn long ago began an incestuous relationship with other industries, rock and roll in particular. From sex tapes involving Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, Kid Rock, and Creed's Scott Stapp, to Dave Navarro's recent directorial debut with Tera Patrick's company, Teravision, porn has slowly and effectively crossed-over into the mainstream. Hollywood has not been immune to the lure of porn either. Megastars like Ron Jeremy and Stormy Daniels, to name two, have made cameos in blockbuster Hollywood pictures in the past few years. So, there is precedent. Why not skating?

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"I would love to make a Peter North board," Spencer says laughing. "I grew up watching those movies with his...you know what I'm saying?"

"It would have to be a little longer than other boards," I reply to which Spencer laughs once again.

"I haven't had any luck in contacting him," Spencer continues. "I met someone who said they'd get me to him, but they didn't. So, if Peter North is out there and reads this, I'd love to make a board for him." I ask him about any other porn stars he has scribbled onto his wish list, but like a good poker player, he isn't letting on anything about the hand he's holding. "I want to be real careful about that," he remarks.

"Swollen is what happens to your head when you pull of a trick for the first time," reads the mission statement on Swollen's website. "Swollen is what happens to your knee or elbow when you slam. Swollen is what happens to you when you see a hot chic. Swollen is what happens to your fist when you break someone's face for talking trash. Swollen is what happens to a girl's chest and ego when they get big pornstar implants. Swollen is what happens to your blood pressure when you're skating away from Johnny Law. Swollen is what you want to do to your girlfriend but she just won't let you. Swollen is what happens to your heart when that same girl breaks it. Swollen is the feeling you get while your getting inked and pierced. Swollen is that feeling you get at the end of the day when you had a perfect game of skate!" If the new idea pays off, Swollen will also be the entity responsible for returning hardcore to a sport that long ago perfected it then lost it.

If and when that day comes, Spencer will have fulfilled his wildest ambitions and could find himself and his company reaching iconic levels within the sport he loves. He could even find himself elevated above a certain savior involved in a resurrection from the dead years ago. I'm talking of course about Frank Nasworthy - the inventor of urethane wheels. Jesus, who did you think I was talking about?